Friday, July 11, 2008

Ok, folks, another poem (#3), sorry it's late...

See All Tell All

Tall order indeed
You and your hypocrite creed
You speak silence
But resonate hate sound
Please! Don’t! expound
On what you think is profound
You will only stump & confound
How trifle the brain
Of a big talker sounds
Well, excuse me! I say
To disagree from your way
Way of the simple
So you say you portray
How easy can it be
To hide & memorize all those
“lil’ white lies”
Won’t lead me astray
With your wisdom of hate
Of rumors complicate
You walk your walk
Talk your talk
A tall order I see
To be you, hmm….not for me
Must be worrisome and
Oh so sad
To keep those bruised up brains
Organized in your so called
mold of Exoskelo Plain Jane jello
False witness you claim
Only leads to late nights, conjured plans and heavy pain
Tight lips wide open
Is the red lipstick to blame?
Watch where you plant them
Plant that blame..
You’re so lame.

4 comments:

Irene Latham said...

Is there any sort of poetic community in Tullahoma? Just curious... you need to be on a stage with a mic in your hands! Is there an independent bookstore? Maybe you could do a poetry night of some sort...

Michelle Cataldo said...

You are such an encouraging & supportive soul! I was bragging to MicaJon about you the other day and how I appreciated having someoone who would give me an honest, open opinion whether good or bad and didn't hold back. Now so far all your comments have actually been positive but I know you would tell me if something wasn't right or whatever. I can tell you would totally be honest. He said that is one of the qualities he has always loved about his sis is that she won't hold back and will tell you what she is thinking. Anyway, I will check on the poet society/community thing. I guess may poetry doesn't make as big of a splash when you read it , huh? Does it come across as boring or just blah?? I have such feelings when I write it so it's soo hard to see it from another person's point of view. That's why I love getting feedback, BUT I don't write for feedback, I write b/c I like to and I like to flip a rhyme and see what I can do with words. I am rambling on now so forgive me. I am tryingto say I don't live or people's approval but I like to know what they think. Just natural human curiosity, I guess. Thanks so much for all your encouraging words! Much Love to you!!!

Irene Latham said...

It's not that your poetry doesn't make a splash on the page, it's just that it BEGS to be performed. It will make a much bigger splash when heard outloud! But even on the page it is most definitely unique and surprising and full of clever twists and turns. Nothing boring about it! If you were working toward publication (you might someday!), I'd encourage you to try to add some more structure to the poem... page poetry needs to have some more organization to unify the experience... but it seems to me your "voice" is not one that will be contained by such structure. Which is why I keep having the performance thoughts. Keep at it! Love to you too.

Michelle Cataldo said...

Thanks Irene! I will certainly work towards that. Maybe you could give me some helpful hints of structuring. Do you mean: bringing it all together, like telling a story , where it has a beginning and an end or at least flows more?